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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter! Let's have some bacon.

Is it 1:30 already?  Jesus.  Well folks, I'm almost not writing this today, on account of I would still be waiting for someone to bail me out of jail, from last nights festivities.  Preface: A friend calls me up to come hangout in a fairly rich neighborhood complex she resides in, and shoot some hoops.  I oblige.  I get there, start walking around and shooting hoops.  I missed a shot and looked beyond the basket for a second and heard, "SHH...there's a cop over there."  Long story short: Security guy walks over and tells us it's too late to play basketball, and to get out.  "Okay, cool."

So we end up calling a friend to hang out over at his place, yet another modernly rich complex neighborhood.  He tells us he'll meet us down by a area of discreet docks they have over there, so me and my friend head down to the docks to hang out.  As I'm leaving I backed up my car into the parking space in a pretty gnar fashion (a parking boundary line was running through the middle of my car.) I laugh it off and figure I'll leave it, my friend calls me a shit driver, so I'll give him something to poke fun at.  We leave, and head off to the docks about 100 feet away.  There was a couple there, so I let my guard down about the whole place being 'sketchy', and 'off limits' this time at night.  To understand the entire scenario, I should inform you that the dock is a good 200 feet long, well out into the water, away from land.  The only way your getting back to land is through water.  I was sick of waiting for my friend, and so decided to start walking back up the docks to get to my car. 

Halfway up the dock I get the flashlight treatment, by a officer in uniform.  "Come with me."  You are aware your trespassing, right?  At this moment It hit me, that my friend has several pills stuffed in her bra that don't neccesarily belong to her.  I'm thinking to myself, "Swallow those pills, before a cop searches you, and you go to jail."  We follow the officer a good couple yards up the road to my car, parked in it's fucked up location.  I tell him the entire bad parking situation was a joke between me and a friend, to negate any suspicions that I could be drunk/drugged up.  (I'm sober as a judge, at this point.) 

Cops got a pretty mean attitude, with some serious anger issues.  He asks me if I have a ID with me, to which I decline. (I had lost my wallet)  So he starts spouting off "you don't have your ID, AND YOUR TRESPASSING?"  To which I respond, "I didn't know I had to have my id."  He keeps the interrogation up with my friend, who doesn't have her ID either.  "Bunch of 18 year old adults, and you don't have your ID?" (As if 18 is 'adult'.)  He asks to look at my car, so I let him.  I open everything, and lo and behold there is a bag of meds in my center console, that I am prescribed.  He asks me what the bag was, and I tell him straight, "those are my medications, I am prescribed them." He doesn't believe a word I say.  "For each one of those pills, there is a 2 year sentence in jail, for each."  Cool, not scaring me cop, when the judge sees I'm prescribed them it'll get dropped.  "You are legally required to keep all pills in a sealed container with labels, and a ID to match them."  Oops, my bad.  Didn't know. 

Now here's the fun part, him asking what we're doing, and why we were tresspassing.  I tell him we're going over to a friends to stay the night.  He asks me how many pills I have, which I count out as 7.  "How many do you take a day?"  One.  One at night.  He get's even more aggrivated at this point, incredible hulk mode status.  "and you have seven?  Your full of bullshit, and we both know it."  I tell him it's one at night, one in the morning.  "Then why do you need seven?"  I tell him I'm staying at a friends for a couple days, just keeping the story flowing.  "BUT YOU JUST SAID YOU TAKE ONE A DAY."  No, I said I take one at night.  I'm getting aggrivated, at this point he's probably going to take me to jail, might as well go down swinging.  I ask him, "What are you trying to do, some verbal ninjitsu on me, or something"?  "WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH NINJITSU".  "Your trying to twist my words and find loopholes in what I'm saying."  He didn't like this, and tells me to stop talking, it's hard for him to not take me to jail at this point.  Cool, silent treatment.  More story prodding, and him telling me and my friend we're full of bullshit.  He grabs the pills from me, and goes to look me up on the computer.  My friend goes over with him to get id'd as well.  She's sweet talking him, and telling him her father is a cop too, (truth).  I wait a good 15 minutes in the high beam lights, and then he comes back over, after looking me up.  Hands me my pills, and says; "Even if you were charged with the pills, the judge would drop them as soon as he noticed you were prescribed."  He hands me my bag, and tells us if it wasn't easter, he'd be sending me to jail. 

*hold breath*
I'm scott free.  FUCK YES.  I get in my car and haul ass. Go home, and tell my friend to draw me Raichu (Pokemon), in celebration.

Picture related. ^^

American cops, tsk tsk...I cooked bacon this morning, in lieu of last nights events.

Alright, the electronica portion of this blog.

This next track is ossum, a high energy dance beat remix of a popular song titled, "Shopaholic."  I love the swagger style vocals, and odd sounding drums in the song.  Well worth a listen.

Happy easter guys.



  1. Lol I love it when the cops get owned.

    Tell your friend he is a good at drawing also:)

  2. nice, gotta love it when you see that look on their face as they realise they cant get you for anything.

  3. That story was sick!!
    I love reading things like that.
    Please check my blog too!

  4. Hah, good story - i have found myself in a similar cop-situation :)
    By the way, the song is dubstep genre :)

  5. @ sweetshop, I figured that out when I listened, realized I posted the wrong version of the song.

    Thanks guys.